Dear Aunt Advice Column

Dear Aunt Sarah

I like a guy at my school and he seems to like me, too. We do a lot of things together. Unfortunately, whenever we go somewhere, he doesn’t have much money so I have to pay for his Starbucks or McDonald’s. He said his parents don’t give him much of an allowance. I don’t mean to complain, but I don’t get much allowance, either. How can I get him to pay his fair share?

– Poor in Pendik

Dear Poor,

That is very difficult, if he is depending on you too much, then you might want to confront him. It is hard when you feel like you are the one who “wears the pants” in the relationship.

Maybe you could offer up the idea that if he really doesn’t have that much money, maybe you could switch times when you pay, since you aren’t paid much as well.

If that doesn’t work, consider doing cheaper activities. Instead of going to Starbucks or McDonalds, try eating at home or buy some cheap groceries from the store. On occasion you can buy more food at the grocery store, than you can at a restaurant, for the same price.

Dear Aunt Sarah,

My husband and I are raising four beautiful children. Our oldest daughter, age 15, has admitted to us that she has been drinking alcohol at parties on weekends. She says she never gets drunk but always has one drink because "everyone else is doing it" and she doesn't want to look "weird."

My husband and I never drink. Alcohol is not served in our home. Our daughter is an honor student and never has caused us any trouble. She says we should appreciate her honesty and not be angry with her. How should we handle this?

— Beside Ourselves in Bebek

Dear B.O.B.,

I’m certain you remember what it is like to be in high school and under constant pressure from other students. It is a very difficult situation for her to be in, and an awkward one for you.

If you have a problem with her drinking, then you should either talk to her or punish her. Depending on her record, you may want to weigh the punishment.

For example, if you daughter is usually good, and this is her “first strike” take that into consideration. If you knew your daughter was going to parties and didn’t ask her for any details, maybe you should watch how you are parenting. When no rules are set, there are none to follow.

Discuss with your daughter what your boundaries are, and have her abide by them. If she doesn’t, then you have a right to punish her for breaking rules.

Dear Aunt Sarah,

I have a lot of homework every night. At the same time, I want to spend time with my friends, participate in extra-curricular activities, and use Facebook. If I don’t get on Facebook every night, I feel left out. At the same time, I think I’m wasting a lot of time and it is one way I could make better use of my time. What do you suggest?

-- Lonely in Libadiye

Dear Lonely,

I understand your difficulty, since I know how hard it is to juggle all of the homework given in all of your classes.

Try finding a balance in your life. You want to be able to hang out with your friends on weekends and occasionally check Facebook, but you need to find your limit. Facebook should come last, I’m sorry it may hurt your social life, but whatever they need to tell you can obviously wait until you check, otherwise they would have called. If you don’t begin your homework until eight o’clock every night, then you need to withhold whatever is distracting you and start once you get home. Otherwise, you will find yourself falling behind.

Some people find it easier to start homework after they have gotten something to eat, just a small snack, to get your brain working, and maybe listen to music, if that is how you study better. Then try sitting down, away from the computer and away from anything that distracts you and do your work. If you have time, you may be able to take a quick break and check you Facebook if you work diligently. Study Hard!